Becoming a Braver Person

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Reading time: 4 minutes.

B is for Bravery

Last week I interviewed strangers on bicycle safety in the city…all while wearing my Reno 911 costume with short shorts. 

Three or four years ago this was not something I could do. But after years of making content and putting myself out there, I have learned a thing or two about working with fear. I hope these lessons will help YOU tackle the scary thing in your life. 

As always, 3 key ideas. 

Break down the scary thing into small, manageable pieces. A study featured in the Harvard Business Review suggests that tackling challenges in small, manageable steps and gradually succeeding can boost your confidence. Start with a version of the task you can manage, and work your way up. 

What did this look like for me? Two days before my shoot I went out and did my normal interviews. Just me behind my camera, low pressure, getting myself warmed up. 

Then the day before my shoot, I did a test run with my cameraman, trying out different safety questions and getting a feel for what people were saying.

Doing these practice runs lowered my anxiety in the days leading up to the actual shoot, and made the leap to short shorts that much more manageable.

But not everyone is doing street interviews so let’s use another example. Let’s say that you want to start a conversation with a stranger at a cafe but you have horrible social anxiety. Break it down into manageable pieces: (start easy, then increase the difficulty)

1. First, simply go to a cafe and sit beside someone; there is no need to talk.

2. Next day same thing, but this time, ask if they know the wifi password. Thank them.

3. The day after, ask for the wifi password, thank them, then ask them how they’re liking the cafe. 

4. Next day, same thing, but add what you like about the cafe.

5. Rinse and repeat, trying to have a longer and longer conversation each time.

Take baby steps if you have to, there is no shame in that. Patience and perseverance win 100% of the time.

Because here’s the thing: if you do nothing, you give power to the fear, making it even scarier. But if you start taking action, you create momentum. Once you get rolling and in flow, what seemed like an insurmountable peak will feel possible. Things might even start feeling fun.

When America was in the midst of the Great Depression in 1932, and people were in despair, Franklin Roosevelt famously said in his inaugural address, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

In other words, face your fear. Fear is your body’s way of telling you that pain is coming so if you can learn to accept the pain, the fear will go away.

For me, that looked like writing down what exactly was causing me anxiety:

• “I fear feeling nervous and stopping people for an interview while wearing short shorts.”

• “I am worried about the looks and stares I will get.”

• “I am afraid of rejection or rude reactions.”

When you write down your fears on paper a funny thing happens. Suddenly, they move from being this monster in your mind to a couple of scribbles. You’ll begin to think, “Wait, is that thing really that scary?”.

Then, the next step is to accept the potential negative outcomes: (that half the time don’t even manifest)

• “I accept that I will feel uncomfortable on this shoot.”

• “I accept that I will feel the pain of rejection.”

• “I accept this shoot may not be easy.”

If you can open yourself up to pain or discomfort, you’ll be amazed at how much of the fear will dissipate.

I think we all know that to a certain extent our fears are largely unfounded and not real. Sometimes, a simple perspective shift may help us see that.

Old perspective:

“Man.. I’m really dreading this shoot. I’m going to be out there in costume and it’s going to be so uncomfortable. Is anyone going to want to talk to me?”

New perspective:

“I’ve never done this before; this will be interesting. I wonder how it’s going to turn out. I wonder how I’ll feel and what it will be like.”

Curiosity is a great way to reframe the situation.

Old perspective:

“That person looks really scary to talk to.”

New perspective:

“Hm. I wonder what that person is like - their personality and vibe, their voice, if they’re nice or not.”

Curiosity and wonder help us approach a situation more lightly.

Don’t forget positive self-talk. It can’t hurt. This may look like:

• Saying aloud affirmations while looking at yourself in the mirror

• Listening to empowering music while on a run

• Meditating, praying or reading the Bible (whatever you do to center yourself)

• Calling up a friend and telling them that you need encouragement (vulnerable but HIGHLY effective)

Make sure you’re not leaving anything on the table. There’s no reason not to take stock of who you are and what you have already accomplished. Don’t sell yourself short.

Finally, don’t forget to have grace on yourself. We all have bad days. Even after years of doing street interviews, there are still days when I don’t have what it takes to face my fears. It’s okay; it’s all part of the process.

Hope this was helpful. Don’t give up. You got this.

With curiosity, and bravery,

Eric

PS: What’s the scary thing you’re afraid to tackle? Email me about it. I would love to hear it.