Cultivating Curiosity

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Reading time: 5 minutes.

C…is for Curiosity

If I’m being honest, I’ve been struggling with a diminishing sense of curiosity.

The more people I interview, the more I hear the same stories over and over again.

The bigger my platforms get, the more I find myself focused on the content rather than the connection that I can make with a person.

The more followers I get, the bigger my ego, the less patience and I have for others.

It’s worrisome. Curiosity is the bedrock of my content. The day I lose my curiosity is the day I stop creating content.

So, I have thought a lot about cultivating greater curiosity in my life. Interestingly, researching its etymology has revealed some helpful insights, which I will share with you today.

As always, 3 key ideas. 

The word “curious” comes from the Latin word curiosus, which translates to carefulness or paying close attention to detail, thoroughness, and meticulousness. In other words, curiosity comes from being observant and present.

I try to notice more and more about the people I’m interviewing: how their arms sway and their speed and manner of walking. Their facial expressions, their clothing style and general demeanor. How they talk, everyone talks differently. Some in short sentences, others digress, adding color and context at every corner.

I notice their eye contact: Do they maintain it or look away? I observe their posture and how they’re standing, how their hands or feet fidget. How they’re dressed, their tattoos, jewelry, watches—anything, everything—gives me an additional data point about the person and what stories they might have to tell.

The more I see, the more I know. The more I know, the more I want to know more. 

Curiosus is itself derived from the Latin word cura, meaning care. 

Roman physicians would undertake the cura of their patients, managing their overall health. Clergy were tasked with cura animarum or “the care of souls”, providing spiritual and moral guidance to their parishioners. 

Think about it: being curious about someone you don’t care about is hard. 

Sometimes, it’s just a quick mindset shift: “Hey, care about this person.”

I have had so many interviews where I went in not expecting or caring much, only to end the interview blown away by the person’s story. Now, I remind myself of the following:

• This person is somebody to someone. This person is someone’s son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother. They are significant. Pretend they are your mother, father, brother or best friend.

• This person has a story: Everyone has a story. The person in front of you has experienced pain and suffering, heartbreak and trials. They are worthy simply because they are alive. 

• Be patient. At some point, something will come up that will tickle your curiosity. Stick with it. 

Once you finish the article, come back and check out my recent interview with Lane. We had initially met up to talk about her recently opened restaurant, but within minutes a whole other story was uncovered that I would’ve never imagined:

It’s hard to be curious if you’re a prideful person.

In Christian theology, Jesus’s life was a testament to cura animarum (care of souls) and the ultimate form of humility (God becoming man). How many questions did He ask in the Bible? 307. Safe to say Jesus was a curious man. In medical ethics, the principle of primum non nocere (first, do no harm) is a form of medical humility, prioritizing the patient’s needs and well-being above the display of skill or knowledge. 

Put differently, humility supersedes curiosity. 

The desire to know something is accompanied by the acknowledgment that one does not know everything. The desire to care for someone is accompanied by the willingness to put the other above the self. (or at the very least on the same level)

Make no mistake—this is not easy. In truth, I’m not sure one can willfully make oneself more humble, but being present to the other is probably a good start.

Let’s bring together the past 3 articles of this A-Z series, but in reverse order: (C, B, A)

First, you get Curious about someone. 

Then, you act Bravely on that curiosity. 

Finally, you start a conversation by Assuming rapport. 

Boom. 

Curiosity comes from presence, care, and humility. While curiosity can’t necessarily be forced, it can be practiced and cultivated over time.

My challenge for you these next couple of weeks is to pay a little more attention to people, notice the details. See if you can’t ‘care’ about them a little more, see if you don’t feel a teensy bit more curious about them.

Let me know how it goes.

With curiosity,

Eric

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PS: 

From the last article, some of you shared what fears you were currently tackling:

• Will from Mississippi, USA says: “A big part of my fear is for me not to recognize my own worth and dignity.  I want to be a strong and courageous person.  I want to look at myself in the mirror each day and be affirming of myself.  It is a journey to do this.”

• Mary from Nigeria says: “Sharing my writing with people because I wonder "Will they read it". Somedays I try to and the views will be low but I am learning that if God wants me to share it, that is totally fine and very pleasing because the obedience counts.”

• Manasseh from the UK says: “The scary thing I'm afraid to tackle is driving. It may sound ridiculous, but I passed my driving test years ago and I have a car but I just don't like the responsibility of controlling this powerful machine.”

Thank you for sharing all. Do you resonate with any of these fears? Self-acceptance, sharing vulnerability, or driving?

THIS WEEK I would love to know: what’s something you’re currently curious about? Maybe a person? A place? Or a passion? Let me know! I’m curious. 

PSS:

I’m starting an online community. I’m very excited. I hope to create a space for you all to share YOUR thoughts and feelings and get the support you need. The group will be called Kindred. Look out for a founding class waitlist soon.